1 Piece at a Time

A Table of Contents is certainly convenient.

It provides structure.

Clarity.

It maps out the steps to be taken on the reader’s journey.

But a Table of Contents is also misleading.

Because the creation of the book’s contents didn’t unfold so neatly.

It wasn’t a smooth progression from Introduction —> Translator’s Note —> Chapter 1…

This piece of work got pieced together.

1 piece at a time.

Sometimes sequentially.

Others haphazardly.

Chapters 1 through 13 were written in order.

But, despite its position as the first mention in the Table of Contents, the Introduction was written after.

The Acknowledgments were written last, which is aligned with its placement in the Table of Contents.

However, the Bonus that immediately precedes it was written before 12 and after 11.

A Table of Contents is convenient for recounting a life’s narrative.

But a Table of Contents is a misrepresentation of how an ever-unfolding life is actually experienced.

Chapters of our lives don’t come to an end with a final sentence and a period.

We don’t actually turn the page to start a new chapter.

Much like days don’t end when the sun clears the horizon.

Day becomes evening becomes night becomes morning.

With no clear beginning.

And no clear ending.

Chapters flow from one to another.

Chapters of a life flow without rigid structure.

Characters evolve.

Patterns emerge.

But the narrative progression only makes senses looking backward.

As we write the story of our lives, we don’t know the title of the upcoming chapter.

We don’t know the decisions that will alter the course of our lives forever.

A Table of Contents suggests that we did.

A Table of Contents projects a false sense of certainty.

“This was always meant to happen.”

“This outcome was a guarantee.”

Of all the pieces included in this book, the Table of Contents was written last…

Because it had to be.

Because a clear structure, a cleanly-progressing story, doesn’t actually happen in Reality.

Sometimes life unfolds sequentially.

Others haphazardly.

But all of the time, the best we can do is respond to Reality.

The best we can do is open to this moment.

We don’t know what the future will hold.

We don’t get to peek at the Table of Contents before embarking on the journey…

All we get to do is take this step.

Take this leap.

Write this piece.

And have faith that it will all make senses eventually.

I wrote a book.

And I wrote the Table of Contents once the book was already finished.

Here’s a link to read the book, if the Table of Contents sparks your interest.

(Disclaimer: don’t judge a book by its cover Table of Contents. How could a couple words in the title adequately capture the essence of an entire chapter?)