I felt stuck

I felt stuck

Once I awoke on The Love Plane, I realized I'd gotten stuck.

It wasn't until this experience that I understood that I had the freedom to choose which Plane to live on. Like dropping (or ascending) into different maps in Super Smash Bros., I possessed the power to move at will.

I could be on The Money Plane in one instance, then bounce to Productivity or Fitness. In my everyday life, I'd teleport between these disparate worlds, depending on the time of day, month, or year. Moment-to-moment, I'm always choosing which Plane I'm on. Moment-to-moment, I'm always choosing what I'm solving for.

In the moment that I experienced this vision, I was addicted to praise. So, the Expectations Plane is where I found myself residing. I was living my life to satisfy the expectations I'd internalized from others. I let the task of pleasing other people distract me from my own responsibility to choose what alignment looked like for me.

I was using so much of my life - so much of my time, energy, & attention - to service others' expectations. I'd completely forgot that breaking away to a different Plane was even an option. Of course this meant that self-care was out-of-the-question. As was taking a break. To risk "letting someone down" was an unspeakable offense.

I felt stuck.

This sensation of being "stuck" arose because 1) I found myself on a Plane that I no longer wanted to be on and 2) I forgot about my power to leave. I'd convinced myself that I was stranded at a sh*tty party with no ride home. I'd convinced myself it was a The-DD-started-taking-tequila-shots-and-now-I-can't-get-an-Uber type of situation.

But, assuredly, it was not.

And, assuredly, I was not.

However, when I dedicate so much attention to this misaligned worship, I begin to feel domesticated in this out-of-place destination. Even though the setting feels unnatural, I decide to settle down anyway. I buy a house, plant a garden, and really take root in this now-familiar existence. The sheer inertia of living encourages me to build a routine and "just go with it." The "it" being whatever I was previously doing. I surrender to a feeling of helplessness. I subscribe to the belief that I don't have the power to change anything. My defeated internal monologue passively stating: "I'm stuck with this... so I guess all I can do is try to make the most of it..."

—> I possess the power to change